Summary: We all hear that it’s tough to work with your spouse on a business and for some, it simply isn’t possible. However, if you can make it work, we believe the benefits far outweigh any downsides. In this post we explore the five benefits of working with your spouse or significant other when building a real estate investment (or other) business.
Since Kenji and I have been together, we’ve been involved in two startups, built a real estate business and started a blog.
How is it that we’ve done so much in such a short period of time? And why is it that we’ve accomplished so much more together than either of us have ever done on our own?
We both attribute our successes over the last seven years to ONE thing: working together in tandem with the same goals, mindset and direction.
We believe that with a good partner in your corner, you can do anything.
The fact is you will go much farther together in a good partnership than you will on your own.
This is not to say that your partnership has to be with your spouse/significant other. Lots of people develop partnerships that help propel them forward with non-spouses. But, if you are able to build a business with your spouse rather than a friend or business partner, there are a number of advantages.
What are they?
Let’s take a look at a few of them.
1) You’re not working against each other
The first, and perhaps most obvious reason to partner with your spouse in business, is you’re rowing the boat in the same direction.
We often see spouses who are not on the same page. One of them wants to save for a duplex, the other wants to invest in a new condo. One wants to spend on a guitar collection while the other one is trying to save up for an out-of-state investment property.
Besides the obvious stress that these opposite priorities have on a relationship, they also slow down the progress that any one spouse can make in any area.
This happened to us early on in our relationship.
Kenji was working on a start-up, which I was not involved in initially.
I was often a roadblock to progress. When he chose a path forward for his business and it conflicted with what I wanted or took him away from home (he traveled a lot), I often resisted. This undoubtedly slowed his business growth, and it most certainly put stress on our relationship too.
Now, with us being involved in the same businesses, we can focus together on what we want to accomplish. This is not to say everything is smooth sailing. But, at the very least, both of us agree which direction we’re headed, and we’re both working together to get there.
2) Two minds are always better than one
When you have your significant other involved in your business, you have a sounding board. And not only that, a sounding board who is trustworthy, involved and wants the same outcome as you do. After all, he/she has skin in the game. If your business doesn’t succeed, it affects both of your finances and future.
If you start a business on your own, you often rely on outside advisers, acquaintances and/or friends for advice. The downsides of advisors, of course, is that they’re paid and it requires quite a bit of effort to get them to weigh in (in comparison to your spouse you can run things by while sipping a morning coffee). The downside of relying on acquaintances and friends is that they don’t know your business like you do, and they certainly don’t have skin in the game. Therefore, the advice they give may not be as well-informed or thought-out.
The downside of having multiple partners in a business are obvious. You lose a lot of control. And sometimes you can’t get to consensus decisions at all.
In our real estate business, we often see the benefits of having two minds fully invested and working on the same problem. For example, when evaluating deals, we both have to agree on a property in order to move forward with a purchase.
While this has resulted in some serious debates (sometimes lasting for days), we believe the outcome has been better as a result.
When we find that we disagree, it really forces each side to really articulate the strengths or weaknesses of a property, so we get a better handle on the deal as a whole. The downside has been that sometimes we let emotions run high. But in the end, I know this practice has served us well. In one case, it took me almost a year to see the outcome we would have had if we had bought a property I wanted and Kenji did not.
Now I’m grateful he kept us in check!
3) You often have complementary skill sets
Different people have different skill sets and different things that they enjoy doing. This can be a huge asset for a real estate business. To be successful in real estate, you must have people-skills (since deal finding is relationship-centered) and analytical skills (to deal with the banks, accounting, the budgeting). Organizational skills are vital. It also helps to have design skills if you’re going to be remodeling or building.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve come across couples where one partner is completely uninvolved in the couple’s real estate portfolio. That one person is trying to do everything. Let me ask you, when that’s the case, are things falling through the cracks? The answer is probably yes. That’s because each of us has things we just don’t like doing. In most cases, if you don’t like doing something, you’re not going to put as much effort or time into it, so you may not achieve the optimal outcome. Now, if you’re really great at outsourcing, you could make up for your deficits. But I suspect most of us are NOT great at outsourcing, especially when our business is just taking off the ground.
In our relationship, we use each other’s strengths to our advantage. Kenji is very analytic and can make a mean Excel spreadsheet. I love to search for deals and negotiate. Sure, there are things we both don’t like. In those cases, we’re trying to get better at outsourcing them. But I know, with two of us involved, we’ve grown our business much faster and better than we could have alone.
4) You keep each other accountable
Accountability is a big deal. If you’re in business with your spouse, they’re likely to be able to call you out when you’re not following through or you’re doing something that isn’t in line with your goals.
Is this a fun conversation? No. It’s not. But, at least it’s a tough, honest conversation with your spouse, someone whom you respect, trust, and with whom you (hopefully) have a huge emotional piggy bank.
At different times in our business, each of us has had to pull (or push) the other person along. We’ve had to have these difficult conversations. But, in the end, it’s undoubtedly made us stronger.
5) It’s good for your relationship
If you search the internet, I’m sure you’d find hundreds of articles telling you why you shouldn’t go into business with your spouse and/or significant other. You’ll find horror stories of divorces caused by working together.
But the fact is, working together on a common goal can really help fortify the foundation of your relationship. Earlier this year, Wealthy Mom MD shared an article on Wealthy Mom MDs Facebook Community which showed that couples who have more specific financial goals and consistently save for them are happier, less stressed, feel more secure and have a better sex life.
This doesn’t surprise me. When Kenji and I talk about our goals and work together to reach them, it’s really gratifying and fulfilling. We are planning together, as members of the same team, and working side by side to grow our businesses and our wealth. This makes our successes especially sweet. It also helps us to be reminded of each other’s strengths and to admire each other.
So, next time you hear someone say that you shouldn’t work with your spouse on a business or you see a couple rowing their financial boat in opposite directions, remember there is value in partnering with your spouse to build a business and control your mutual financial future. In fact, it’s easier and better than doing it all by yourself!
